R.I.P Birdy

Our dear little Birdy is now snuggled between frozen spag bol sauce and some puff pastry. Oh I know this sounds incredibly unlike me who can't even cut up an orange because I find the smell too offensive, but I needed time to plan a proper little buriel and well, decomposition waits for no body ( no pun intended!) The truth is, I was a howling wreck and the vet's when I had to take her in to be "put down", and to all those people who suggested a brick over the head well, just get stuffed! It is not a good feeling to make that decision to "snuff the life out of" any living creature, but she was suffering and the time had come. My heart goes out to Lucinda who never took much interest in our little ratty pets, but has not put Bunny down since she lost her companion. You are gorgeous Lucinda.

Baby pictures

Phemie and I had a fight this morning. Nothing too dramatic but I may have told her she was a pain as she refused to get out of the car, pouring rain, Lucinda stressing about being late, sort of a typical morning really. I threw the keys at her and told her to wait in the car while I went into school to talk to the principal "About the class trip to the movies I am organising for YOUR class!!!!! Did I really say that to the baby in this photo? In my defence I did make her a cup of tea when we got home and held her in my arms, but really, how does the mother /child relationship change so much just because they no longer wear grow suits and need their food pureed?

And so I turn to the baby photo. Any baby photo will do ( preferably of my own children ), but seriously, looking at baby photos just stops me in my tracks. I am taken sailing back to that moment when I first saw my new baby, a life in my arms the future ahead of us. Suddenly I just want to get in my car and bring them all home from school and snuggle in bed and look at baby photos together. But I guess in real life we have piano lessons and dinner has to be made and friends to pick up or drop off and readers and projects, it just goes on and on and I suppose adds to the stress that then causes a mother to call her beautiful daughter a pain. I'm sorry Pheme. Maybe I'll glue a baby photo of you to the steering wheel.

PHEMIE'S BLANKET

I have to finish this before Phemie starts highschool. Something about wrapping her in my love before she goes out into the big wide world. Can I do it? I've been working on it since last September. Beautiful Koigu wool purchased at Purl in New York. You can do absolutely anything with that wool and it is going to look lovely.

It could seriously take me another year to sew in all those ends!

Winter Veggies

Good and bad days can be side by side. Last night I went to bed feeling like I'd spent the whole day yelling and nagging (mind you, curriculum days throw me), disconnected from what is really important, the worst mother in the world basically. Today was a glorious day in the garden with Hazel planting our winter seedlings. It's amazing what a bit of nature can do for the soul.

PAPA BILL'S TREE

When my Father-in-Law was still in good health, he pulled Daryl aside one day at the farm and pointed out the gum tree he had chosen to have his ashes placed under when the day finally came....

Bill died at the good old age of 85 and true to his wishes, a lovely ceremony was held under his chosen gum. The girls know he is beneath the soil as they all took a turn at digging the hole!

They love "Papa Bill's Tree", and now as they begin to venture out further from the farm house, this spot has become somewhere special for them to go. It is only marked by an old bench seat, but also quite often by the pile of bikes and baskets and other things gathered along the way. I'm sure Bill would approve of the noise, the sound of little girls playing, arguing, laughing.

I never really noticed that tree until the day came to scatter Bill's ashes, but it took my breath away. It is by far the most majestic tree on our property, it's bark swirling around as though formed during a wild storm. Yet now it stands, large and quiet except for the wind that lifts the sound of life through it's branches. A gentle old man it is....

HARVEST TIME

The scones rose, the nuts were delivered, my Easter babies turned nine, the sun set on another beautiful Autumn day, but sadly the dog went home.......

EASTER HARVEST